Seeing as today is pioneer day I thought I would take this opportunity and simply mention it in passing. People change. An underwhelming topic if I do say so myself. But alas, that is what is on my mind.
I'm currently living at The Ridge during the 7 week break. Since there are only a limited number of guys staying for the break, management moves everyone into a few apartments in order to keep track of us and so they can renovate and clean without worrying about disturbing tenants. It's kind of a pain having to move the majority of your belongings from one apartment into an apartment that's literally less than a 100ft away. I do it anyways. I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling that I am supposed to be here. It doesn't make sense to me at the moment, but I hope that maybe one day a light bulb will turn on and I'll have some sort of "EUREKA!" moments. For the rest of the 7 week break I'll be in apartment 808. I'm pretty lucky, because I know all of the people in here. Or at the very least, I thought I did.
When I was in high school, during my junior and senior year I had become amazing friends with two people: Josh and AP (if you're curious, those are his initials, but that's what we call him). We did everything together. We were like three peas in a pod. The three amigos. Tres Hombres. The three musketeers. I could go on... I have great memories with these brothers from different mothers. I'm a year older than those two, so I left on my mission during their senior year of high school. That means when they left for their mission, I was already over a year out. I didn't see AP for about 3 years, and I didn't see Josh for about 3 and a half. It's odd, AP has lived in the building directly across from me for about a year. We have hung out maybe 6 or 7 times. What happened?
So who would have ever thought me and AP would be living in the same apartment during the break? Not me. It's been a blast being with my old friend again. It brings me back to my high school days. At the same time, there is definitely an unspoken rift between us. We have definitely gone down two different paths. I don't know if that's a bad thing. It's just a reality.
People are constantly changing. I'm constantly changing. In the two years since I have been back at college, I have changed drastically. Sometimes I notice it. The differences are minor and in many ways unimportant, but they are there. I wonder how many people have thought "you've changed" after not seeing me for a long period of time? I may never know. I may not want to know. What I do know is this: I've changed.
There's a quote from Benjamin Button that I like, "It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."
ReplyDeleteI think changing is this weird phenomenon because our perspective doesn't allow us to see our own change easily. We think everything else is changing, but more often than not, it's ourselves.
Random thought, love the blog. Enjoy the break. Keep writing.
One morning, I was walking with my friend Daniel after watching an early morning audition for Battle of the Dance, and we passed the missionary I waited for on the sidewalk. Neither of us made any gesture to each other, we just walked right on by -- like we were complete strangers.
ReplyDeleteI thought about that moment over and over again in my head: How is it that I cried over this boy for over a year and would've given my life to see him again, and then after all was said and done, I could just pass him calmly on the street?
It makes me sad that people who once played critical, or almost crucial, roles in our lives can somehow become almost obsolete. I guess the fact of the matter is this: God puts people in our lives at certain times for a reason, but only a few will stay there for forever. I think it's a good thing that we change and move on -- because if we kept the same people forever, we wouldn't have other opportunities to grow.
Before I left BYU-Idaho, one of my favorite mentors told me this, "There are many people who come into your life, and they play an important part, but then you never see them again. Then, there are other people who come in and out of your life, but somehow always find a way to come back -- to keep you grounded. I think you're going to be one of those people for me."
Anyways, sorry, those are just a bunch of random thoughts -- but I guess that's good, cause it means your blog got me thinking. :) Love it.