Take Me Somewhere Nice

I'm just apologizing upfront: this post was for me to get out my feelings. It's kind of depressing. So if you don't like that kind of stuff, you might want to skip this one ;)

The last three years were spent almost exclusively at Rexburg, Idaho.
The last three years have been the best three years of my life.

For the longest time I have struggled to fit in. Whether it is at school, work, or church. I'm not good at meeting people, and I've never been much good at it.

But in Rexburg, none of that mattered. For the first time in my life I felt as though I belonged to something. I finally fit in. The self imposed chains that weighed me down had been broken. I no longer had a history. I could become or be anyone I wanted to be, and there was no one there to question it.

It's kind of funny, but I have always wanted a nick name. What better way to become a new person than with a new name? Luckily for me, I had a roommate my first semester off the mission who shared my given name. Some things happen for a reason, and some don't. Maybe this is one of those times where it did. In any case, my new name had been declared official, and I was from that time onward known as Izzy.


It's funny, you start writing these things, but then halfway through you forget what you set out to write. I'm at that point right now. I don't what I was going to say, but I guess I'll get to the point of why I started to write.

I'm in Colorado again. It had been my home from the time I was a baby till the time I went on a mission. It was where I wanted to live the rest of my life. It was the only thing I knew.

But then I moved to Idaho. I found myself in Idaho. I became the person I always wanted to be.

I've lost myself again. Am I Izzy or am I Aaron? A real life Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. I've relocked my chains.

I feel as though a part of me has died; the part of me that I have wanted all my life. I don't know how to get that part back.